we decide for our self not others

one of the mistake that we always do is, we tend to decide behalf on others. which to me its really not a right way.

we have been born to this word uniquely and have our own responsibility to ourself, so anything we did it was our responsibility. no one in this world can decide behalf on you and claimed it as the best decision ever.  

to some extreme i also have a thought that when Allah gives us life. Allah trust us to be responsible to our own life. we always have a choice and we start making decision. and all the consequences is depends on the decision it self. yeah, Allah can disturb in our decision making process if He want, but i think it mostly depending on yourself which make the day after is relevant in this context situation. 

yup, there is several things that already been mention not to change. yet this, in my opinion is based on the things that related to sunatullah alam. which mean everybody did the same will get the same result.

just need a new spirit and a new heart...

it is tiring, painful, dark and scary...  i thought it has bring me to other world.. with a new spirit, with a new hope... the hope and the spirit that have been lost from my heart... from time to time i find my way become so blur, wondering it is a right path that i had chosen? or only the path that i thought it was right but the reality isn't... there are few times, the moment flooded my head... make me think to leave this path and starts the new one which the road that not taken by anyone... am i too rush or is it the time... i don't know and i also clueless...

when every time somebody came and give my some positive support... again i feel better... thought that the survival already ends that time... but not, it just like someone who drown in the middle of the sea, grasping for the air and asking for the help... by the time he be able to take a breath he thought he was safe but not yet.. the water will pull you more deeper and make you more drown up... not only that it also took up your energy... till one time your energy wasn't there anymore and that time only you and your lord.... oh Allah help me.. give me strength to face all this things...